Why have I accepted this

I’m just sitting here thinking and this I do all the time ya know just sitting and thinking I had a terrible childhood all the way til I became a grown woman it falls under physical,emotional,and sexual abuse starting about 8 I still haven’t told this part of my story to no one yet and I don’t know if I can I do want to write a book so maybe I will one day at least as much as I can remember but I have a point to this even after all that I just his it down deep and went on I was so smart when it came to men my finances I was such a happy full of life person kept myself out of drugs and alcohol I lived how I looked my heart was so full of love my family was everything to me then by the time I hit 30 I started drinking some and I knew our family has always struggled with alcoholism and it came to be so my drinking started bringing out things I had buried then I started making all the wrong choices in life dealing with the worst depression and also starting accepting men in my life that I would of never looked at twice at 42 I have had a marriage im separated cause he’s in prison and I would of never chose him 10 yrs before and I’m engaged to another who I know I wouldn’t of given him a chance either but here I am with this guy and 2 kids miserable lonely no family no friends and I don’t know how to fix me I want me back my strength my power I want to heal but it’s so hard to find help unless you are threatening suicide but I’m not I have 2 boys that need me to heal I know the guy I’m with is also a good man but he don’t understand all this with me and he’s tired of all my depression well let me tell ya I sure as heck am to

Published by April🌞Starr

Honest, good-hearted, love to write big personality

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